ATTENDING THE FUNERAL OF A TEXAS MILLIONAIRE WHO WAS BURIED, according to his last request, in his favorite Cadillac, a poor relation commented, "Yessirree--that's what I call livin'!"
A TEXAN WAS VISITING NEW YORK. WHILE HE WAS HAVING A DRINK AT A BAR, an attractive woman sat down next to him. "Hello, honey," he said. "I'm Billy Bob Smith fr-"
"Don't tell me," she said. "You're from Texas."
"How'd you know?" he asked.
"You called me `honey,' your name's Billy Bob, and you sure seem tall sitting there on that bar stool."
"Well, you're right," Billy Bob said, "but I have to tell you, I'm not really that tall--I'm just sitting on my wallet."
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