Scout Leader Dan Simonis

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Dan had to get out of the parent's house or he was going to lose his mind. He thought for about 2 hours for an escape. Then it dawned on him: the family tradition at this time of year was to join the Texas Scouts beginning at the end of the school year, or if old enough, be a Scout Leader.

Bingo! He remember his great-grandfather telling him what it was like back in the day. The above photo is the Scouts back in 1927, and since then every adult male was expected to do community service by taking on the duty of Scout Leader. Usually they went to Amistad National Recreation Area 300 miles from Langtry. A terrible long drive for 10 year olds in the heat of late May to mid June.

But this time, Dan has a different plan: loading up the bus and taking the scouts to the Texas/Oklahoma region to chase tornadoes! There is only a short window of time to catch these furious funnels and this is the meat of the season. The lads would bring different weather gauge instruments, provided by the Langtry weather station, and make a report to get credit for a half-year of science.

Yes, this will be nothing but fun, and he will be sure to take pictures, the kids will love it!

Obama is the BEST

Dan cannot believe his luck. Mr. Obama last month offered $8.4bn of federal loan guarantees on two civil nuclear plants in Georgia, which will be the first to be built in the US in a generation. One of those plants belong to the West Texas Millionaire, Dan Simonis, off a fluke of a tip by his accountant. This same accountant tipped Dan off to fellow millionaire John McAfee's property auction in New Mexico. Dan made some nice change on flipping that property to purchase a recommissioned oil rig today after Obama signed the bill that opened the off shore drilling.

This offshore platform is totally enclosed, partially a functioning oil rig, the other half a luxury mansion that even makes property in Dubai pale in comparison. He threw a massive house warming party complete with yachts and water skiing pyramid. The deck on this rigs is about 20,000 square feet, complete with eco friendly green energy in the form of a huge wind generator that powers his drilling needs and all his toys inside.

There are roughly 4,000 rigs in the Gulf of Mexico, half being shut down 20 years ago, that are now going to return to full operation within 6 to 10 years. Dan is preparing himself to slowly obtaining more of the rigs for oil production and future hotel chains/casinos. Only for the promise from Obama would this dream come true...

Paris Texas Spring Fashion Show

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Dan has been working hard on pulling together the final alterations for his models to present his spring fashions for the Paris Texas Spring Fashion Show. The catwalk is awaiting his first creations to glide down; and as a fashion designer, he continues to expand his horizons as an artist.

This Country Couturier brings in the generic fabrics of silk, cotton and lace while staying true to his roots: The silky overalls look ($350):

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...And the proverbial boot cut working man's worn jeans (shirt $250; jeans $300):

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Dan reflects, "You know, a lot of my lady fans talk to me after the concert and they comment on my collection of Nudie shirts, and wish that there was something for them...to look nice when they go out on the town.
Well, I thought I would take the opportunity to give back to my dedicated lady fans. And after the Paris Texas premier, we are looking at putting this collection on the market."

The West Texas Millionaires Brand are not just for the Country night life, but sets the pace while strolling through the Galleria in North Dallas! And when asked, "Who are you wearing?" you can drawl, "Simonis".

WITH A GREAT LOOK AND SUPER FRIENDLY PRICES ( MOST SHOES ARE AROUND $150 RETAIL) THIS COLLECTION IS SURE TO BE A SUCCESS!...

Interpretive Line dancing

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You will often find interpretive dance performances in spiritual settings. This type of dancing has been used throughout history as a form of worship. Interpretive dancing can express all sorts of emotions that relate to spirituality, joy, love, or even fear.

It is with this in mind that Dan is on a campaign to bring this into his Western/Americana genre, and the result is interpretive line dancing. Imagine hearing the soulful sounds of “West Texas Town” as beautiful people who love country perform this.

Dan had a very positive reaction this last weekend at a ranch outside of San Marcos playing to a test crowd. They were given the basics, and then something very spiritually profound happened. As they allowed themselves to let go fully to the line dance, they became one with Mother Earth, expressing their inner soul through the dance.

He wasn't even finished with the second song that the crowd had fully succumbed to their spirits, and all came to a feverish pitch, "Heart on fire" was playing loud, and someone busted the main pipe on the ranch tank. They all splashed in the mud as the line dance continued, each note from Dan's guitar raised arms and caused bodies to gyrate.

Dan was convinced that he had tapped into a very powerful force, and interpretive line dancing will be the hit at all the boot scooting dance floors in Texas this summer.

Western Haiku

Dan is now experimenting with Western minimalism, to be the first in Country music to create minutia out of the obvious. This demands great discipline of the art of Haiku, and he is dedicating the next year to this endeavor. Here is just a taste of this new art form:

Country Haiku:

Go Bar Hopping

Springtime cattle tilting

Relative paying bail

Ice fishing in Texas

Usually, ice fishing is taken up by skilled fishermen, those who have already mastered fishing during summer period. Many have noticed how people move from one place to another place on frozen water reservoirs. They identify a place and sit for hours together motionless. Ice fishing fascinates and attracts. It is some kind of a narcotic. Many can express that it is awfully uninteresting to sit motionless in winters on a frozen reservoir and wait for much-awaited catch. But not Dan, for him it is the first step to the studio, and it gives him the most creative work of the year.

He was on his Texas ranch in Marfa, at one of the tanks used for watering his 237 head of cattle. The tank was totally frozen over. He cut his hole in the ice, set up his chair and electric coffee maker, baited his hook, and commenced to sit and think. An hour passed and the first of many melodies started to pass through his mind.

Then it happened.

His fishing rod was slowly bending and Dan was thinking, “Awesome, this should be a big walleye.” He slowly picked up the rod, which thankfully had 6-pound test line on it, and set the hook.

The fish made several lunges toward the bottom. He finally got it to the hole and saw the white belly. He was thinking state record, until the next time it swam by the hole and saw the whiskers. It was a huge catfish, perhaps 16 to 20 pounds. He slowly worked the line in and the great moment to bring the fish topside came. But there was a problem, a tiny problem.

There's a saying that if you don't think big, you won't get big. And in this case, it was the hole that Dan had cut, the usual 10 inch in diameter. It was like a bad cartoon, every time Dan pulled on the line, the catfish's head compressed against the ice, giving this mocking, shocked look on its face, then plunging back down. "This can't be happening" Dan said over and over, but it was happening. After 4 attempts of pulling the great cat up to the surface, the ultimate happened. Dan's line broke and he pulled up only a memory. He sat back down, put the pole down, and for the next 2 and a half hours, he pondered the pain man must suffer in life.

The Saddest Country Song Ever Written

A report recently published by The Council of Country Music Analysis states that Dan Simonis has written the saddest country song ever. The Council conducted a double blind test (?) to a panel of country lovers and monitored the results. Test results ranged from sullen expressions to outright blubbering at the top of their lungs.

This ousts "He Stopped Loving Her Today" by George Jones, who called Dan to congratulate him. We cannot go into details about the lyrics or Mp3 recordings of the song, until it is judged safe enough for the public, according to the American Psychiatric Association. We as well congratulate Dan for making history yet again.