Rock Fore Rehab

On Jan. 31 it’s Rock Fore Rehab at Turquoise Valley, a benefit for the Verhelst House, all afternoon long. Last year’s event was packed, as they had some fantastic entertainment. Expect no less this year! For 40 years the Verhelst House has helped men from a wide geographic area face their problems, learn useful trades, get back on their feet and become productive members of society. Not exempt from today’s tough times, the Verhelst House relies heavily on this endeavor to survive each year.
Dan has been working hard to get things ready, and is going to be taking the stage along with others. He does it for many reasons, but one is remembering that he was also once on hard times, totally broke from gambling at the Sands casino. Had it not been for someone to get him out of that jam, he would probably still be in Vegas, staying in Vegas.
So all of you who can make it, come on out; and if you wish to donate to the cause, go to their website: http://verhelstrecoveryhouse.org/Events.aspx

Ice fishing in Texas

Usually, ice fishing is taken up by skilled fishermen, those who have already mastered fishing during summer period. Many have noticed how people move from one place to another place on frozen water reservoirs. They identify a place and sit for hours together motionless. Ice fishing fascinates and attracts. It is some kind of a narcotic. Many can express that it is awfully uninteresting to sit motionless in winters on a frozen reservoir and wait for much-awaited catch. But not Dan, for him it is the first step to the studio, and it gives him the most creative work of the year.

He was on his Texas ranch in Marfa, at one of the tanks used for watering his 237 head of cattle. The tank was totally frozen over. He cut his hole in the ice, set up his chair and electric coffee maker, baited his hook, and commenced to sit and think. An hour passed and the first of many melodies started to pass through his mind.

Then it happened.

His fishing rod was slowly bending and Dan was thinking, “Awesome, this should be a big walleye.” He slowly picked up the rod, which thankfully had 6-pound test line on it, and set the hook.

The fish made several lunges toward the bottom. He finally got it to the hole and saw the white belly. He was thinking state record, until the next time it swam by the hole and saw the whiskers. It was a huge catfish, perhaps 16 to 20 pounds. He slowly worked the line in and the great moment to bring the fish topside came. But there was a problem, a tiny problem.

There's a saying that if you don't think big, you won't get big. And in this case, it was the hole that Dan had cut, the usual 10 inch in diameter. It was like a bad cartoon, every time Dan pulled on the line, the catfish's head compressed against the ice, giving this mocking, shocked look on its face, then plunging back down. "This can't be happening" Dan said over and over, but it was happening. After 4 attempts of pulling the great cat up to the surface, the ultimate happened. Dan's line broke and he pulled up only a memory. He sat back down, put the pole down, and for the next 2 and a half hours, he pondered the pain man must suffer in life.

The Saddest Country Song Ever Written

A report recently published by The Council of Country Music Analysis states that Dan Simonis has written the saddest country song ever. The Council conducted a double blind test (?) to a panel of country lovers and monitored the results. Test results ranged from sullen expressions to outright blubbering at the top of their lungs.

This ousts "He Stopped Loving Her Today" by George Jones, who called Dan to congratulate him. We cannot go into details about the lyrics or Mp3 recordings of the song, until it is judged safe enough for the public, according to the American Psychiatric Association. We as well congratulate Dan for making history yet again.

West Texas Millionaire pays Homage

Dan turned off of hwy 90 that follows the shore of the gulf to get something to eat in downtown Biloxi Mississippi. It was bitter cold, just above freezing this Friday afternoon, he was almost thinking about blowing off the whole deal and turn in to go to bed at Biloxi Hotel Bookings. But no, getting seated at Rena's Deli, he ordered lunch and reconnected to why he was down here in the first place. To go the the birthplace of Elvis in Tupelo, since today was Elvis' birthday, and Dan had driven all the way in his unheated 56 cadillac.
The waitress asked if he was going to the house, knowing the answer since most every unknown face that came in was there for the same reason. "How did you know?" Dan asked; "Just got that metaphysical thang" she replied. "You wanted sugar tea?", "Yes". Dan then started thinking of the first Elvis song he got hooked on. Hound Dog? no; Jailhouse Rock? No. He kept thinking....yes, it was "Don't be cruel". He spent long hours trying to learn that on his first guitar, getting it down finally at the end of the summer of 74.
He paid his tab and spent the next 4 hours getting to Tupelo, and every 10 miles dropped another 2 degrees. 21 degrees and closing in on sunset, he approaches the porch, with guitar in hand, and simply stands and stares. What a small house, what a humble beginning. He picks silently some of the ballads of Elvis, as though he was lulling the baby king to sleep. Hours went by, darkness set in, and the local police were beginning to circle the block ready to proceed.
Dan finished his homage, took his guitar back to the car, shivering from the global warming, and started the engine. The day had come and gone, but the memory will burn on forever...

Musician to be First to Record in Space

West Texas Millionaire Dan Simonis has just confirmed a deal with Virgin Record owner Richard Branson to travel into suborbital space on the craft Space Ship One and be the first musician to record in space. Plans to make the flight are priced at US$200,000.
Simonis will be recording the song "Spaceship", which was on his first record. "I wanted to make history, and so thought it fitting to use this song" he replied. Part of the lyrics go:

I'll fly my spaceship
Go on a long trip
I'll fly my spaceship to the moon

Richard Branson has equipped the craft with studio equipment to conduct the recording. "I'm quite excited, not since 'Tubular Bells' have I had such a challenge".