Halo of Light Concert

This was taken at the "Halo of Light" concert held Friday, December 17th at the St. Patricks Catholic Church. Very well done, beautiful ambient sound and stage. Also on the ticket was Benise, Robert Longley and Karina Nuvo. Dan enjoyed his time there and looks forward to the benefit for the Verlhelst House at the end of January.

Dan Simonis to be Special Guest of Halo of Light

click here on Halo of Light

Dan Simonis will be special guest at the Halo of Light concert this coming Friday, December 17 2010, at 7pm. Located at the St. Patrick's Church in Bisbee, Arizona. Get tickets at the visitors center for $22 or at the door for $25. For more information call 818-749-3702.

Terrible Toby: Rodeo Clown gone bad

We left Dan at the rodeo being carted off on a stretcher with multiple bruises and broken wrist. But what we did not tell you is what happened to happy go lucky Toby the rodeo clown. If you agreed with me on the last post about the crazy cowboys riding bulls, then you would naturally second the motion on voting rodeo clowns as certifiably insane!

They take the horn to protect the cowboys from being killed by these angry angus. When Dan went down, in came the clown. But Toby was not expecting the bull to zero down on him, and in all of his 23 years of service as a servant rescue worker, he never had a bull take him down and stomp his skull in with it's hooves. They rushed him to the hospital and found that a portion of his frontal bone structure above his eyebrow was crushed inward, giving him what amounted to being a frontal lobotomy.

But instead of causing him a sedated frame of mind, he has an unbalanced mood of rage intermittent with mad laughter. "Terrible Toby" was his new nickname among the bull riders and cowboys in town. They would not let him back into the ring to be a rodeo clown, and he blames Dan for his demise. And that is how it all started, causing chaos for Dan whenever possible. He found out where Dan lived and started a series of scary and dangerous antics.

Just this Friday after Thanksgiving, Terrible Toby went to Dan's house, entered by the side door and stole a leftover Turkey leg from Dan's refrigerator:


Dan's wife, Puspa, happened to walk in at the time and screamed, waking Dan up and rushing into the kitchen. "TOBY!! Take the turkey leg and get the hell out of my house! Next time it's gonna be a bullet in your backside." They lock all their doors now, have put in security cameras that are motion sensitive, and connected to their home computer. But when they check the cameras, there's Terrible Toby grimacing behind the bushes. So Dan sends the dogs out every few hours on attack mode to do a securing of the perimeters.

Terrible Toby has backed off for the moment, and in his more sane moments he gets on his computer and updates his website. It is a dating service for fellow clowns he met at clown counseling, which is mandatory for his completing a 2 year probation for stalking Dan. It has proven to be lucrative for him and has landed him a girlfriend that is serving 15 years for attempted murder. Here is his ad:

Dan Simonis: Rodeo Romeo

Before there were the boys of Jackass, there was the Texas Rodeo. Everybody from the surrounding ranches gather round, drinking lone star beer and try to coerce a poor sap through double dare or a lost bet to get on a bull, and is told, “all ya got to do is stay on for 8 seconds and you can get off”

Then again, there is the Rodeo Romeo, who is looking to impress the prettiest Cowgirl in the crowd, or was pressured by their girlfriend/wife. That was the case when Dan’s wife, Puspa, wanted him to show how much he loved her through bull riding.

Everybody watches, half snickering, others held in shock and awe as Dan TIES himself to the wildebeest and gets ready for the ride of his life. They spring open the gate and the bull goes into Mike Tyson mode, wanting blood from the unnatural object on his back. You shake your head when you see a relatively healthy body get hurled, kicked, stomped and any other horrors that can be inflicted by a bull. “Serves him right, the damn fool” you hear from the crowd; and as Dan is carried off on a stretcher, Puspa goes for another beer and the rest of the crowd gets closer to the rail for the next cowboy. This one makes it to the 8 and jumps off in time and all yell “Yeeeee Haaaww!!!” then they pack a fresh batch of dip in the lip.

There’s something morbid about the human condition, it is shown in the Roman arena all the way up to NASCAR, people want to see crazy crashes/clashes. And Texas is proud to carry the torch between them.

Dan Simonis in the Studio

Working in a recording studio can prove taxing, and no one knows this better than Dan Simonis. "I would say the worst scenario was recording with Phil Spector. He literally kept us under lock and key, and was going on 4 days without sleep. This rendered him totally paranoiac, and we had to keep hiding his pistol for fear of death."

Yes, it can be adventurous in such surroundings, but Dan can weather such storms. His best recording session was in the mountains of Tennessee in a log cabin studio. the sound was naturally absorbed in the old oak wood that was used to build this Earthy structure. He still thinks fondly of those days and brought out some of his best songs. These days it is all state of the art, and can leave a lot to be desired. It is a cold cavernous feeling, and can feel more like a mausoleum, so Dan counters this with throwing some Persian carpets on the floor and burns incense. It does help and Dan gets into the moment.

Dan Simonis and The West Texas Cowgirls Roadside Stop

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From time to time Dan Simonis, while on the road, will stop and set up shop when he feels he has a hot spot for people to buy his album/coffee. He has done this on Highway 66, outside of Dallas, in Bakersfield and other places. So somewhere on our great American highways he set up his tent, put up his backdrop-- decorated Au Western frontier, and displayed his new Album and his Cowgirl coffee 1 pound packages. These were promoted by the famous Cowgirls themselves:

West Texas Jennifer

West Texas Ariel



West Texas Puspa



West Texas Jill

Sure enough, truckers by the dozen stopped to see just what was going on. Vacationers who had enough of bad motel coffee wanted the Cowgirl Coffee to revive and rejuvenate. And all were intrigued by Dan's new album, with all the bonus trinkets inside. Why, even Highway patrol stopped to have a free cup o' Joe and wished them well. Everything was selling like hotcakes from their tent:

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When all was said and done, Dan made plenty of bank. He folded up the tent, put the remaining product in leather bags, rolled up the backdrop and put it all in the trunk of the caddy. We last saw him driving over the mountain with the girls as the last rays of sunlight died out. Another successful day on the road with Dan Simonis and the West Texas Cowgirls:

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Humble Texas

There are many towns in America that have unique names. But Texas leads in the competition for the top 10. Theirs Fairview, followed in order by Midway, Oak Grove, Franklin and Riverside, Centerville, Mount Pleasant, Georgetown, Salem, and Greenwood. And Dan Simonis has played in every one of these town's bars. Being the struggling working artist, he has paid his dues on sometimes little to no patrons.
But being the working class hero, he stuck it out to become the artist he is today.

He talks about the war stories of being on the road, but one town stands out in his mind. That was Humble Texas. Its an all-American kind of town, and he took a liking to the small town flavor. He went as far as buying 40 acres and putting 30 heads of cattle on the grassy prairie. He finds Humble to be a lost heritage, a town that is the salt of the earth lost in the modern day. It was what inspired him to write "Back to Austin". He comments, "Humble is a place that is food for the soul, giving space for the heart to breathe."

And so we leave him in his restful state of mind, knowing that it is conducive for the artistic flow that musicians need. Humble Texas, a place you can kick up your boots and rest a spell.

West Texas Millionaires Steal the Stage...Literaly

Dan Simonis and the West Texas Millionaires have been on a highway robbery tour through Texas. They will slip into small clubs and tell the head bar tender that they are ready to set up and play, they got the go ahead of the owner and will split the door with the bartender. Well, what bartender could pass that up? So he lets them in, knowing the other band has their name already on the marquee, but an opening band that splits the money that the other would not sounds pretty good.

So Dan and the boys move like lightning getting set up, usually before happy hour begins. It is usually the busiest time 'cause there are drink specials, so a little for the door ain't so bad. The band goes through their set and they all start making toasts to get the crowd even more drunk.
They also have set up a donation jar in front of the stage for little Billy, a fictional character they dreamed up. You see, little Billy suffers from busy knees, a syndrome in which he can't help from bopping one or the other knee, up and down like an oil pumper, as fast as he can. It can get real annoying on a wood floor feeling it vibrate at 120 knee bops per minute.

When Dan knows the crowd is drunk enough, he tells this story and dedicates a song to little Billy, asking the people to just give what they can. Everybody in the house is skunk drunk and crying, pulling out wads of bills and filling the pickle jar plum full. The songs continue for just another 30 minutes and Dan plays the finale. The crowd roars, the band breaks down, happy hour is over at 6, everybody staggers home.

Then the real band arrives to an empty hall. "What the hell is goin' here!!" yells the band leader as the owner pulls in his Cadillac. "You know the terms, no crowd, no pay". When the band leader goes to the bar and asks why it's such a slow night, the bar tender replies, "Oh it ain't no slow night, these fellers called The West Texas Millionaires came through at happy hour and plum made bank for the night. Nice boys."

This scenario is starting to wear on his base fans, who can't figure out where he is playing next, since this formula pays twice as much and does not want to give his next destination away. Not only that, the other bands, of course, are sending out tracers to keep tabs on him, so Dan has to switch cars

Of course you know this means war.

Dan Simonis' biggest Fan

He was just going in to pay for gas (again) for the Caddy, he got a newspaper and went to the counter. Then it happened. He felt someone was watching him and when he looked over, sure enough, there she was. Their eyes locked, and she sheepishly smiled. "You don't know me, but I run the fan club for the West Texas Millionaires, I'm your biggest fan, have all your albums, been to every concert, and, well, you are the greatest.

"Why...thanks" he replied, trying not to be rude but had an appointment. "I saw you at those shows but was to shy to ask for an autograph. Would you please give me an autograph?" Dan started to sweat, but took the receipt from the cashier and gave her the autograph. "Oh thank you, thank you. Oh, can I take a picture of us together from my cell phone. It would really mean a lot." Dan started to squirm at the over 60 woman started to be clingy, but went ahead and asked the cashier to take the picture. "Now I really have to go" Dan told her. "Ok, I can't wait for your next show, I cry at some of your songs." she said starting to get misty. "I'll be looking for you!" Dan blurted on the way out the door. She held the receipt to her bosom and whispered, "What a cowboy, what a dear dear cowboy"...

Tall Texan Tales

Elmer didn't want to be tall, he was just born that way. In school the kids made fun of him, made him feel like some kind of freak. Girls avoided him like the plague, and few if any friends took the time to be kindly. So that left him with a lot of alone time which he spent writing poetry and reading the works of Edgar Allen Poe.

He was also an accomplished ballet dancer, and used his stature to perform the most amazing leaps and bounds. He gained the respect of Paul Taylor, who was a major contributor to the New York scene in the '50's and '60's.

But his real passion was for poking cattle on his Uvalde Texas ranch. He worked hard and loved every aspect of ranching. It was Elmer that gave Dan Simonis' dad a job back in the 1950's to support his wife and family. He made a short run in politics and had good report with Beauford H. Jester, governor of Texas, pictured with Elmer above. At the time, on Saturday nights, Dan's father would play guitar for dances that Elmer hosted. That is what got Dan interested in playing guitar himself, and by the age of 12 he was an accomplished six string strummer himself. In fact, it was Elmer that loaned him the money to get his first guitar, and he played it with all his heart.

Dan says he owes everything to Elmer for getting him started. "If it wasn't for Elmer, I don't think I would have bothered playing music" Dan states. And so it is, this tall Texan that helped our very own West Texas Millionaire, Dan Simonis, wax and wane the ballads that only a cowboy could master.

West Texas Millionaires Hit a Snag

Well, a road trip would not be a road trip without a CHALLENGE!! And so it was for the West Texas Millionaires when they were just outside of Raton, New Mexico, hometown to the Band "The Fireballs", who had a number one hit in 1963 with "Sugar Shack". The Caddy started making "noises", and the hitch on the bus needed to be re-welded. All the while Dave Rose was on the job taking pictures for a piece to be featured in National Geographic entitled, "Why We Love Cumulus Clouds." So they made it into town to get repairs and had a look over of the town.

Dan's bill came to a whopping 2000.00, due in part to getting parts for a '57 Cadillac in a town located in the middle of nowhere with overnight shipping, and that the owner of the garage felt he was a king since he had a master mechanic certificate hanging on the wall with candles burning like he was Mother Mary or something.

Dan was not going to have a swell time if he did not recoup some of that money. Lucky for him, located in Raton is The Philmont Scout Ranch, which is the largest youth camp in the world by size and number of participants. Just his luck they were going to have a weenie roast that evening with a record 2300 young boys attending. He called the camp director and made arrangements to play that night. Dan played earnestly for 2 hours, at times making those little scouts cry and beg for mommy. Afterwards he took a love offering and brought in 3,486.00. "Those dear little boys" Dan said to himself and 4 seconds later left Raton in his rear view mirror.

Dan Simonis and the West Texas Millionaires Hit the Trail

You know how you get itchy feet and cabin fever (even in the summer) if you stay in one place too long? Willie Nelson knows, and hits the road even before that nagging starts. So it is with the West Texas Millionaires, as they were seen saddling up and getting it ready to go:

Cowboy 1: Mike Page gets the chuck wagon dieseled up and was the first to hit the trail, with the cupboards packed full of salt pork, pinto beans and...beverages...
Cowboy 2: Robert Page, acting as scout, heads out on his horse Astraia (it's a Bavarian girl's name), and is making good time.
Cowboy 3: Dan Simonis and his sidekick Dave Rose took the Albino Clydesdale Cadillac, and was seen at the ATM to get enough feed for the hungry mammoth's long journey:



If that proves to not be enough money, Dan will have to resort to getting out his guitar and start playing for tips at the gas pump. All in all, they should work up the trails and make it to the 70th anniversary Sturgis Rally 2010 festivities. There they will TAKE PICTURES and share with us all the serene beauty of the iron horse.

You know what you oughta do...

Ever had one of those friends that had all the answers about what you ought to do, but their life is absolute chaos? Yeah, me too, and it is annoying to no end. You hold your tongue, but the urge to scream, "Would you please just shut UP!" is in your throat waiting to explode. But you're the better person, and it causes a deep pain in the center of your forehead.

Oh, they mean well, they're just wanting to give the helpful tip of the day; but really, they could use a good lobotomy and you have the ice pick ready to administer the dirty deed.

Breathe deep, relax, and if you concentrate hard enough, you can wish the best for that person. And with that I leave you with some useful advice: the next time they utter those six words, simply reply "Not listen to you".

Dan Simonis Purchases Roy Rogers Stuffed animals

Wild West kitsch took over Christie’s plush quarters at Rockefeller Center on Friday. Dan was there and plunked down $266,000 for Roy Rogers' stuffed horse, Trigger, as well as paying $35,000 for Rogers’ stuffed and mounted dog, Bullet. The proud owner stated that he has always wanted the animals for nice conversation piece in his living room. Congratulations Cowboy!

Dan Simonis' Distant Relatives

Everybody has those distant relatives that they want to keep that way...distant. And Dan has his share. Billie-Rae Otis and his clan live in West Virginia, where they like to play bluegrass and chew tobacco. The family seems to be making a name for themselves and that makes Dan nervous, because they drop his name every chance they get.

They are going on tour and just may be coming to Dan's town, and that means they drop in unexpected and stay awhile. Billie-Rae's wife Gurdie always takes her purse and empties it out just to meticulously arrange it back inside, achieving nothing but I guess it keeps her hands busy and her brain entertained. Billie -Rae's 3 daughters are real lookers and sing like larks. So enjoy a clip of their recent show, and if you see them, do Dan a favor and give him a heads up call to warn him, he would be much obliged.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xytrguQlH0

Zombie Fire Ants Found on Dan Simonis' Ranch

There is something wrong down at the Texas ranch of Dan Simonis. He went out to start his day and noticed the proverbial Texas Fire Ants were aimlessly walking on the hot sand. Usually, they are in scout mode finding food for the queen, but these guys were waltzing across his acres, totally oblivious.

The scene was disturbing, Dan wondered if his water table had gotten polluted, or if there were some chemical problem. Then he totally had a cow when he started seeing their heads falling off...yet still walking.

Two weeks went by and he kept seeing headless ants walking in circles. "What in Sam Hill is goin on?" Dan asked himself. He went to his next door neighbor to see if he had the same problem. Coming to the door was Rob Plowes, a research associate at UT. Dan related his story, while Rob just nodded and smiled, annoying Dan to no end.

After Dan had finished, Rob invited him to his barn, which acted as a home office/laboratory. There inside were tubes of tiny flies; Rob called them "phorid" flies. " He continued:

"The flies "dive-bombed" the fire ants and laid thier eggs.

The maggot eventually migrates into the ant's head; leaving the ant with no brain, then wanders aimlessly. This wandering stage goes on for about two weeks.

About a month after the egg is laid, the ant's head falls off and the fly emerges ready to attack any foraging ants away from the mound and lay eggs."

The hair on the back of Dan's head is now standing on end, and he carefully asked why Rob was doing this.

"It's a hobby" he replied. Dan's blood ran cold.

Like the scene from "The Shining", where Wendy finally got a look at what Jack had been writing about (all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy), Dan quietly thanked Rob for the explanation and walked as fast as he could to the pick-up, making like a bandit back to the safety of his ranch.

That's why in Texas, good barbed wire fences make good neighbors...maybe even razor wire...

Today's Tall Texas Tales

Texas has four seasons: drought, flood, blizzard, and twister. That old saying isn’t far from wrong. Because of its sheer size, Texas experiences all kinds of weather—sometimes all at once. Out in West Texas, the weather can be drier than the heart of a haystack and windier than a fifty-pound bag of whistling lips. A duststorm is dubbed “Panhandle rain.” Thunderclouds might bring some real rain—say, a real gully-washer toad-strangler. And, all over the state, it’s hot—darned hot. How hot, you ask? Hotter than a stolen tamale. Hotter than a honeymoon hotel. Hotter than a fur coat in Marfa.

Dan Simonis is Wired

At long last, Dan is preparing for an Album/CD release part set in August, and has already gotten responses to his promo from magazines like Wired. This magazine issue, due to be released in July, will have a nice interview with Dan as he covers his 15 plus years in the business as well as future artistic endeavors he is considering.

Fans got a taste of his new CD this weekend, as He performed for Eurovision via sattelite to Oslo, Norway. He came in next to last place, leaving that to Britain. Even though this was only meant for European Countries, he made up the country of Langtria and they let him in, because most of the other countries were in such financial dire straights to participate, it left the contest lacking in participants. Dan was not only happy to enter the contest, but was happy to do an interview for Wired Magazine.

More coming soon...

Dan Simonis gets Marriage Advice From Ted Nugent

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There's nothin more important than keeping the little lady happy for a good marriage, and that has sadly been realized after the fact by boneheaded husbands who did not keep the first love first.

Well Dan was taking his Cadillac to get serviced by the best Cadillac mechanic in Texas, when he got a call from Ted Nugent inviting him to stop by his ranch house to personally congratulate him on his newest album. So Dan got off the highway at Waco to make it to China Springs, Texas and met Ted at the garage. They talked about a lot of things, how the audience today is different just in a years time, more careful about what they are buying out there, the difficulty of recording on a budget, the latest gadgets for the musician, etc., etc.

But then Ted came straight out and asked Dan how the wife was; had he done something for her lately; had he taken upon himself to do a chore that he knew the wife hated to do. Or had he even taken the easy route and cracked that wallet with the intent of having her face on those bills. Well...Dan waited a long time to answer, knowing that he had not done any of that.

"You know, your not promised tomorrow...your love for your wife has to be invested with personal effort and care, just like your gun" Ted said in a low serious voice; "So you give yourself some time to think about what exactly you could do to save your marriage vows."

Well, that just cut Dan straight through the heart, "I will Ted, I most certainly will!" Dan said, feeling a commitment sent from on high to rectify his marriage; a marriage starved from neglect, crying out for nurturing.

And Dan surely did do something, after getting his car serviced, he bee-lined right to the destination he had in mind, like a bolt of lightning it struck his heart, soul and mind. He knew what he must do: he knew it right when he saw it, a five piece living room set printed entirely with camoflauge covering. Ted took a gander at the fresh kill Dan made with his Diners Club Credit card, "Good job Dan, good job."

Scout Leader Dan Simonis

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Dan had to get out of the parent's house or he was going to lose his mind. He thought for about 2 hours for an escape. Then it dawned on him: the family tradition at this time of year was to join the Texas Scouts beginning at the end of the school year, or if old enough, be a Scout Leader.

Bingo! He remember his great-grandfather telling him what it was like back in the day. The above photo is the Scouts back in 1927, and since then every adult male was expected to do community service by taking on the duty of Scout Leader. Usually they went to Amistad National Recreation Area 300 miles from Langtry. A terrible long drive for 10 year olds in the heat of late May to mid June.

But this time, Dan has a different plan: loading up the bus and taking the scouts to the Texas/Oklahoma region to chase tornadoes! There is only a short window of time to catch these furious funnels and this is the meat of the season. The lads would bring different weather gauge instruments, provided by the Langtry weather station, and make a report to get credit for a half-year of science.

Yes, this will be nothing but fun, and he will be sure to take pictures, the kids will love it!

Dan Simonis Wins award for the Third Straight Year

Dan has won the coveted Southwest Americana award again for the third straight year which is presented in San Antonio. The distinguished institute has on its board Willie Nelson, George Straight, John Hiatt, Carrie Rodriguez to name a few. The award includes a check for 1,000 dollars and a years supply of beef jerky.

Dan was happy to accept, and thanked those who helped him on the albums recording and art work. He will be doing a summer tour to promote his latest album. Here is the link to the Southwest Radio Programmers website. Congratulations Dan!

http://southwestradioprogrammers.blogspot.com/

Postal Service Honors Dan

With the issuance of the “Cowboys of the Silver Screen” stamps, the U.S. Postal Service honors five extraordinary performers who helped make the American Western genre a popular form of entertainment. Film stars and musicians from the silent era through the modern era are featured on the stamps.

Though Dan has been new to the scene, the Postal Service could not neglect recognizing his contribution to keeping the spirit alive through his movie shorts and records, of which a new release is about to be released; celebrating the roots of American cowboy music, and how it brings America together.

"I am honored to have this stamp of my likeness circulating across America, to be included among my heroes that I studied and learned so much from. Thank you so much" Dan said with broken voice, showing his respect.

So go to your local Postal Service and proudly ask for a book of Dan Simonis stamps!

Dan’s dream

The family were about to finish dinner, Ma brought out her home made pecan pie and served it up. The family chatter was full of stories of what had transpired over the years Dan had been gone: who married, who divorced, who died, who was in jail and so forth.
It was good for Dan’s soul, and he was getting sleepy so he excused himself to go to bed, Ma said there were extra blankets and pillows in the attic if he needed.

When he entered his old room, it was like a museum. Everything was just as it had been when he was 15 years old. The Roy Rogers poster, the Buck Owens records on the old Silvertone record player. The wall paper of a cowboy on a buckin’ bronco, and the pattern sheets and pillow cases...all was the same as he left it.


He stretched out on the bed, with his feet going over the edge about a foot. He did’nt mind, it brought back good memories of growing up in the country, and he was broke down tired. He found himself going back in time, when he was in this same room, same Saturday Night, fantasizing about what wonderful adventures lay beyond that Texas horizon....slowing...falling...asleep...

It was April 30 1955, Saturday Night at the Louisiana Hayride, from the Gladewater, Texas, High School gym. The West Texas Millionaires were celebrating 10 years of performing their great western swing music, and touching on the new rockabilly scene. “Thank ya’ll for all your support over these 10 years,” said Dan. “We could not have come this far without your buying and loving our albums. We gotta big night ahead of us, with the Sagebrush Serenaders and a new guy to the scene that I don’t right off hand know his name, but we’ll get that sorted out soon enough. And now, a little ditty called ‘Hay loft Honey’. Take it Jim!” Jim on the steel guitar opens the famous waltz that got the band on the charts that December day in 1945.

The war was over and the boys were back home wanting to kick up their heels, drink some beer and get that cowgirl on the dance floor. Dan and the boys hit it at the prime time, and knew that they had the music and the window of opportunity to cash in. And they did. They put in 120, 000 miles on the road tour, claiming 32 dates in 28 states. They never got a gold record, but they all had nice houses and cars and fishin' boats; they even went in together to purchase a piper airplane when they needed it. They were comfortably satisfied.

“And that’s why you’re my Hayyyy Loft Honeyyyy....Thank you! Thank you!” Dan says as he closes out the song. He and the band finished out the set and introduced Billy Mack and the Sagebrush Serenaders, the music started up again.


Dan goes to the anniversary table set up just for the band and began signing autographs from young cowgirls dressed in their formal country dresses made for dancin' and kissed each one on the cheek, with his hand on their lower back...

Dan look well seasoned, in his mid-30's, wearing the Nudie suit he bought with the second royalty check for his number 1 recording of "Hay loft Honey" nine years ago. He still wore it with pride and looked very dignified. "A toast! To looking back at our hard work and success, and looking forward to seeing you 55 years from today. If I'm rightly thinkin, I believe after 65 years of working the honky tonks, you're entitled to a retirement!" Everyone in the dance hall laughed and cheered, and pulled back their mugs of beer.

It was getting late, Dan made his good-byes and was making his way out the door when the dying sound of the P.A. was making its introduction, "And now folks, we bring you a young man with a new take on this new thing called Rock-a-Billy...Elvis Presley!"

http://www.elvispresleymusic.com.au/video/popup/1955_april_29_cotton_club.html

http://www.elvispresleymusic.com.au/pictures/1955_april_30.html

Dan grunted and belched, thankful to be out of that High School gym to avoid all that rockabilly noise that just gets worse with the echo....

"Dan? wake up hon, breakfast is ready. I made your favorite!" Dan's mom said. He realized he had just had the most fantastic dream. He still had his clothes on, so he just did a quick bird bath in the sink and went to the kitchen. The smell of corn beef hash hit him in the face, and spied the brown chicken eggs brought from the back yard pen. He followed his instincts to a pot of chicory coffee and poured a big mug full. 65 years...that would make it...today!!!

Moving back with the Parents

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The IRS filed a Notice of Deficiency in U.S. Tax Court which resulted in liens placed against Dan's property which allowed them to then seize the property after the 30 day waiting period.

They sold his property for less than the market value, his yachts, his pick up truck, his life insurance...everything to pay off his debts to the federal government. The good news was that they are not permitted to take clothing, which in this case was his collection of Nudie western shirts, and his boots. And they let him keep the Cadillac, and he had previously hid his guitar at a friends house.

With all that was left in his life in the trunk of the Caddy, he parked in the desert outside of Langtry, Texas, laying on the hood staring up at the sky as the sun began to sink on the horizon. He was devastated. It's not so much that he lost all the stuff, the home he had recently redecorated, his toys such as the yacht, the oil rig in the ocean with penthouse, rights to his previous recorded albums, his two cats and dog...no, that was not the hardest part of all that had happened so far.

It was moving back home with Mom and Dad

"Is this how it comes down? After being my own man for over 35 years, to end back at square one?!" He yells, fist clinched at the sky. But at this juncture, it is his only option. His band mates had scattered abroad with girlfriends, mumbling something about wishing to take him in but....and on and on.

He is pulling himself together to make that last 2 1/2 mile drive down that dusty Texas back road to the folks. He pulls up to the old house that was his birth place. The doctor made it 40 minutes after the fact, to take the mothers blood pressure and present them a bill of 50 dollars.
So many memories, so many reasons to have left home that day long ago...only to return.

"Heidy hon, glad you're back. Now clean up for supper, I got chicken liver and onions ready, just the way you like em'" Mom said. "I never liked liver and onions" Dan said under his breath, and washed up anyway for a long night at the Langtry homestead.

Obama is the BEST

Dan cannot believe his luck. Mr. Obama last month offered $8.4bn of federal loan guarantees on two civil nuclear plants in Georgia, which will be the first to be built in the US in a generation. One of those plants belong to the West Texas Millionaire, Dan Simonis, off a fluke of a tip by his accountant. This same accountant tipped Dan off to fellow millionaire John McAfee's property auction in New Mexico. Dan made some nice change on flipping that property to purchase a recommissioned oil rig today after Obama signed the bill that opened the off shore drilling.

This offshore platform is totally enclosed, partially a functioning oil rig, the other half a luxury mansion that even makes property in Dubai pale in comparison. He threw a massive house warming party complete with yachts and water skiing pyramid. The deck on this rigs is about 20,000 square feet, complete with eco friendly green energy in the form of a huge wind generator that powers his drilling needs and all his toys inside.

There are roughly 4,000 rigs in the Gulf of Mexico, half being shut down 20 years ago, that are now going to return to full operation within 6 to 10 years. Dan is preparing himself to slowly obtaining more of the rigs for oil production and future hotel chains/casinos. Only for the promise from Obama would this dream come true...

SpaceShipTwo Update

In this photo released by Virgin Galactic showing the first captive-carry flight of VSS Enterprise or SpaceShipTwo over Mojave, California Monday March 22,2010. The center mounted spaceship is attached to the "mothership" WhiteKnightTwo for a series of flight tests prior to its first drop test later in the year.

Powered by a single rocket motor, the spaceship will be flown by a crew of two and carry six passengers on a Mach 3 thrill ride through the edge of the atmosphere for a brief zero-gravity experience and views of the Earth far below before gliding to a landing.

More than 300 people have made deposits on the $200,000 tickets. One of those people was Dan Simonis, who is first in line when it takes its first flight. Dan was on site Monday for the test flight, and had his staff of chefs cater for all involved: BBQ and all the fixings for enough that everyone could have seconds and thirds. "This is an exciting experience for Americans, and should be supported by those who love the private sector who have the spirit of capitalism that benefit rich and poor alike" Dan commented. He also offered that further tests could be conducted on his airfield that is located on his ranch in Texas, where a good jet stream exists in the atmosphere.

Possum Kingdom Pandemonium

Few people know of the well kept secret in Texas, known as...Possum Kingdom. It is notorious for having the largest catfish in the state. They hang out near the dam by a rock formation known as "Hells Gate", where it can rise 10 t0 15 degrees in the month of July as you enter its encloser. The water reaches 100 feet in depth and scuba divers have surfaced stammering with fear, describing catfish the size of Volkswagens.

It was on a spring morning that Dan was checking his trot line to see what might have taken the bait. He had wadded up some nice balls of blood bait, the stuff catfish love to ingest, and now the time to bring home the bounty had come. Little did he realize the horror that awaited him as he reached down to grab the line...

He only saw the shadow of the beast below the murky water, as it lunged up throwing Dan off balance. Then he felt a spongy grip take hold of his leg, sucking him into a cavity lined with sharp teeth. His left leg was being ingested by the whale-like catfish; and as he tried to fight it off, it proved useless, taking all of his strength just to hold on to the side of the boat.

It continued to gum away at his leg, regurgitating portions of the blood bait, making the lake a crimson macabre. He grabbed hold of the monsters whiskers and yanked hard, only to aggravate it to a frenzy. Dan was beginning to lose consciousness when a fellow fisherman was passing by. The man took his tazer that he used to stun fish so they would float to the top (an illegal act in most states), and shot it into the mammoth cat. Of course he did not figure in the fact that Dan would also sustain a portion of the voltage, leaving Dan confused and fearful of the man's intentions.

After realizing what he had done, the fisherman took a tire iron and finished the job of crushing the fishes head, also traumatizing Dan. This dislodged his leg though, and they dragged the fish to shore as proof of what happened:


People began to gather around the carcass as Dan and his life saving friend told the tale over and over. Dan was still experiencing shock, but over time regained his composer and was seen enjoying a meal at a local fish fry. The only injury was that the gastric juices from the fish had dissolved all of his leg hair and stained the flesh orange. Other than that, Dan had survived a most certain death.

And so another tale of Possum Kingdom killer catfish is added to the long history of one of the most hazardous lakes in Texas. Dan is just lucky to survive and share it with the rest of us.

Paris Texas Spring Fashion Show

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Dan has been working hard on pulling together the final alterations for his models to present his spring fashions for the Paris Texas Spring Fashion Show. The catwalk is awaiting his first creations to glide down; and as a fashion designer, he continues to expand his horizons as an artist.

This Country Couturier brings in the generic fabrics of silk, cotton and lace while staying true to his roots: The silky overalls look ($350):

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...And the proverbial boot cut working man's worn jeans (shirt $250; jeans $300):

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Dan reflects, "You know, a lot of my lady fans talk to me after the concert and they comment on my collection of Nudie shirts, and wish that there was something for them...to look nice when they go out on the town.
Well, I thought I would take the opportunity to give back to my dedicated lady fans. And after the Paris Texas premier, we are looking at putting this collection on the market."

The West Texas Millionaires Brand are not just for the Country night life, but sets the pace while strolling through the Galleria in North Dallas! And when asked, "Who are you wearing?" you can drawl, "Simonis".

WITH A GREAT LOOK AND SUPER FRIENDLY PRICES ( MOST SHOES ARE AROUND $150 RETAIL) THIS COLLECTION IS SURE TO BE A SUCCESS!...

Interpretive Line dancing

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You will often find interpretive dance performances in spiritual settings. This type of dancing has been used throughout history as a form of worship. Interpretive dancing can express all sorts of emotions that relate to spirituality, joy, love, or even fear.

It is with this in mind that Dan is on a campaign to bring this into his Western/Americana genre, and the result is interpretive line dancing. Imagine hearing the soulful sounds of “West Texas Town” as beautiful people who love country perform this.

Dan had a very positive reaction this last weekend at a ranch outside of San Marcos playing to a test crowd. They were given the basics, and then something very spiritually profound happened. As they allowed themselves to let go fully to the line dance, they became one with Mother Earth, expressing their inner soul through the dance.

He wasn't even finished with the second song that the crowd had fully succumbed to their spirits, and all came to a feverish pitch, "Heart on fire" was playing loud, and someone busted the main pipe on the ranch tank. They all splashed in the mud as the line dance continued, each note from Dan's guitar raised arms and caused bodies to gyrate.

Dan was convinced that he had tapped into a very powerful force, and interpretive line dancing will be the hit at all the boot scooting dance floors in Texas this summer.

Western Haiku

Dan is now experimenting with Western minimalism, to be the first in Country music to create minutia out of the obvious. This demands great discipline of the art of Haiku, and he is dedicating the next year to this endeavor. Here is just a taste of this new art form:

Country Haiku:

Go Bar Hopping

Springtime cattle tilting

Relative paying bail

Building a wall

We here at the WTM offices located in north Dallas, are concerned with the safety and well being of Dan Simonis. He is not returning calls nor responding to emails at a time when it is most urgent to communicate before the release of his latest album. We have had much experience with previous artists who go into a panic when they get to the "altar" of a new release, followed by a massive tour; the endless interviews with late night shows; performances for MTV, VH1, Hannah Montana.....scratch that...and the jet lag that hangs over it all. That is when some musicians will retreat and build a wall to push this reality back by any means. They hide in their villas, go to their secret get away spots, or hop-scotch from hotel to hotel in the big cities till they finally get cornered.
If you are reading this Dan, we mean no harm to you, we only want the best for you, and need to talk to you. The last time we talked you seemed incoherent and mumbled something about "...the cinder blocks of hell will protect me from those corporate bastards who only want to steal my image and songs...never!!"
We understand, we have hired the best lawyers in New York and L.A.; you need to exercise a little trust now Dan...you have our numbers, you can reach us at any time, and you really need to get your prescription refilled as soon as possible. You have our support and the fans all over the United States and the world who reads this blog and supports your dream.
Dan, we all love you, now come back home and start that dream you have been working so hard on.

P.S. For you fans that would like to leave a comment in support of Dan, simply click on the comment key below. We thank you for your support of Dan, let him know it too.

Mother Trucker

Dan is fit to be tied. He has recently purchased his life's longtime dream, the Cadillac of Cadillacs, a primo package on 18 wheels, just in time to take his recent album release on the road! This brand new International is lubed and ready to go, and Dan has his list of towns he is going to tour, and all for a mere 40,000 dollars! How many bombs can that buy?! Higgeldy Diggeldy!

West Texas Millionaire helps Truthers

Dan was feeling uneasy about hearing of the growing numbers of Truthers disappearing around America. The report went on to say that they were being taken by Government officials for "questioning" about the evidence and information that they possessed. Dan is not a proponent of the conspiracy theory, but supports the right of every American to express their first amendment right without hinderance.

Dan went to the streets and found a man holding a sign,

"Know the truth, 9-11 was an inside job" Dan asked him, "If in case you know the truth, does any family member know where you are right now? any friends? Have you made a plan if in case the govt. takes you in for "questioning"? The man looked concerned, knowing that another piece of the conspiracy puzzle had just been revealed!

And so Dan is on a campaign to educate Truthers to have a plan of action. The program is called "The Truth may NOT set you free". Dan began to educate the Truthers that they are vulnerable to the information they possess, and that they must be vigil to the inevitable. "Its not a question of if" Dan instructs, "It's a matter of WHEN".

And so the march goes on for the truthers, with the recent horror that there has been a missing persons report issued in Langtry Tx, referring to a homeless drug addict who was speaking the truths of 9/11. The only witness said that a black van pulled up and the driver simply asked, "Wanna take a ride?"