You know the routine, monday morning madness, gotta have a grin to bear it. So here goes:
A WOMAN WAS KICKED TO DEATH BY A MULE, AND A HUGE CROWD GATHERED for her funeral. "She must have been very popular," observed a visitor. "Hell, no," said an old-timer. "She was the orneriest old lady in the county. All these people just want to bid on the mule that was strong enough to outkick her."
THE SCHOOLTEACHER ASKED LITTLE JOHNNY A MATH QUESTION: "IF there were twelve sheep in a field and one jumped over the fence, how many would be left?" Johnny replied, "None." The teacher frowned and said disapprovingly, "You don't know arithmetic." Said Johnny: "No, ma'am, but I know sheep."
A PAIR OF TEXAS EAGLES WERE FLYING ALONG WHEN A JET PLANE SUDDENLY overtook them and landed not far ahead. One eagle said, "That fellow sure was moving!" And the second eagle said, "So would you if your tail was on fire."
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