TWO PRETTY GIRLS WERE TAKING A WALK WHEN THEY CAME UPON A FROG, which surprised them by saying, "Please kiss me. If you do, I'll turn into a Texas oilman." One of the girls picked up the frog, looked at him, then popped him into her purse. "Aren't you going to kiss him?" her friend asked. "No," the girl said. "These days a talking frog is worth a lot more than a Texas oilman."
A TEXAS WILDCATTER WHO WAS VISITING PARIS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN many years went to see the Eiffel Tower. After staring at it for a moment, he turned to a fellow tourist and said, "I can't believe it--after all these years, they still haven't struck oil!"
A RICH OILMAN DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN, ONLY TO FIND THE GATE CLOSED. Saint Peter apologized. "I'm sorry," he said, "but we have too many oilmen in heaven already." The oilman told Saint Peter, "Don't worry. Let me in, and I can solve your problem." So Saint Peter let him in, and the oilman went up to every other Texas oilman in heaven and whispered in his ear, "Word is they found a big new field down in hell." One by one, the oilmen left heaven and went to hell. A few days later Saint Peter found the helpful oilman packing up to leave. "Where are you going?" he asked. "Hell," the oilman replied. "So many drillers have headed south, I figure there must be something to that rumor after all."
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